Have You Kissed The Girls…
And Made Them Cry?
There was a time when men protected their daughters from heathens, hustlers, players, predators, pimps, dawgs, and other indiscriminate males.
There was a time when men honored women and knighthood, chivalry, and nobleness of character were the rule of thumb amongst men.
Since that mindset has shifted, many men are responsible for inflicting women with some severely damaging psychological scars, physical pain and emotional trauma. Have you ruined any female’s life? Have you caused any females to have deep emotional problems?
Before you answer those questions, take the damage assessment test…
by Gillis Triplett
Kiss The Girls… And Make Them Cry?
One of my best friends in high school, (I’ll call him Mike) grew up in a single-family home. Mike never knew his dad, and his mother was wantonly promiscuous. All three of her children were born out of wedlock… to different men. She raised them to follow in her footsteps. Her two daughters were versed at using their beauty and bodies to manipulate men. The three women would tell Mike all of the time that he was going to be a heartbreaker and they trained him how to be one.
They showed Mike how to seduce women and how to gain control of a woman’s emotions. Although he was still in high school, Mike had become a master of seduction! When I saw how the girls swooned over him, my mind was made up… I wanted to be like Mike! He agreed to school me on the rudiments of being a player.
Me and countless others boys always wondered what Mike said to these girls to get them to fall in love with him and to have sex with him. I sincerely thought he was going to show me some super smooth moves and give me some dazzling words to say. Instead, the only thing he taught me was how to be a liar! He told me to lie about everything: my age, the grade I was in, and anything I could think of to convince a female to have sex with me!
He showed me how to instantly get a girl�s attention and how to look a girl in the eyes and say, “I love you,” even though I didn’t love her. He instructed me on how to evade her or break-up with her after I got into her panties. He showed me other tactics such as how to turn a virgin out, how to manipulate girls and how to date two or three females at the same time. After he was all said and done, I no longer want to be like Mike.
From Protectors To Predators… From Princes to Pimps
Multitudes of males in our society are like Mike… they have been indoctrinated to be predators rather than protectors, playa players and pimps rather than princes, and knights in pining armor rather than Knights in shining armor. These males have even arrogantly crept into the church pews! It was a common thing for Mike to prey upon and then seduce untrained church girls. After he stole their virginity and broke their hearts, he would laugh and giggle about his destructive sexual exploits. When we graduated from high school, I lost contact with Mike, but the females whose lives he stained with his presence, I still see every now and then. Some of them never recovered.
Mike never looked back to see if he had impregnated any of those girls. He never checked upon them to see if any of them had aborted his child, or contracted a sexually transmitted disease from him. He never cared if he caused any of them to be heartbroken, depressed, bitter, vengeful or suicidal. To Mike, it was all fun and games. Sex was just a sport and females were his trophies. Since being in the ministry, my path has crossed countless women who have been wounded, scarred, and damaged by males like Mike. How do these females react to being exploited, dismissed, dumped, kicked to the curb, used and abused? The answer may alarm you�
Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned?
Many of them react by exacting systematic and methodical vengeance against the male gender. Have you noticed the eerie trend? Follow it closely:
=> More and more females are brazenly filing false rape charges. They agreed to consensual sex, but afterwards, they felt exploited. For some women, that feeling is so sickening that they retaliate by using the District Attorney, a Grand Jury and the Police Department as their personal whipping stick.
=> More and more females are blatantly committing Paternity Fraud. The figures emerging from this crime are frightening. One third of all men who take DNA paternity tests, turn out not to be the biological father of the child. In most states, even after DNA tests prove two key points: (1) he is not the baby�s daddy, and (2) the mother perjured herself on the paternity affidavit, the current law allows these females to continue collecting child support payments. The defrauded men are threatened� pay her or go to jail! I have sat in paternity fraud trials and watched these women smirk at the men they successfully booby trapped.
=> More and more females are using the divorce court and family court as their weapons of chastisement against the male gender. These bitter females go father shopping for disposable dads. They find nice men, marry them, have children by them and in one fail swoop, they take his home, children, cars and cash without any semblance of a conscience. This is truly a hideous act of feminine vengeance. These females have made their minds up� they are going strip a man of everything to get payback for the males who stripped them of their virginity, dignity and self-esteem.
=> More and more mothers are abusing or cold-bloodedly murdering their children and leaving their husbands, boyfriends and lovers stupefied.
=> More and more women are being diagnosed with severe emotional problems, clinical depression, bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder.
=> More and more women are suffering from the psychological, emotional and physical effects of having an abortion.
=> To their own detriment, more and more women are engaging in wanton promiscuity.
=> More and more women are committing acts of domestic violence and becoming suicidal.
What would you find if you did a one-on-one indepth analysis of each of these troubled women? What would you uncover after investigating their background, family life, sexual history, and Relationship Resume? Overwhelmingly, you would find that the source of their vengeance and troubles stems from issues related to exploitation, abuse, domestic violence, rape, abortion, promiscuity, ruptured relationships, failed marriages and fatherlessness. These are acts that took place at the hands of men. Are all of the problems women face a result of what men have done to them? No, and I am not saying that!
Some women are just like some men, they have a rebellious heart and what happened to them was an intentional self-inflicted wound. But the majority of the issues that women face, stems from encounters they have had with men who either: (a) did not understand true manhood, or, (b) they altogether rejected their duties as a man. Have you caused a female to suffer psychological damage, left her with any emotional scars, or inflicted her with any physical wounds? To answer those questions you must take the Damage Assessment Test. A simple, �yes,� or �no,� answer will do.
THE DAMAGE ASSESSMENT TEST
1). Steal her virginity, (you were the first one to have sex with her outside of marriage) ?
2). Pressure, coerce or manipulate her into having sex?
3). Talk, persuade, coerce or force her to have an abortion?
4). Talk, persuade, coerced or force her to have a miscarriage?
5). Get her pregnant and then abandon her?
6). Have sex with her when she was a minor?
7). Give her a sexually transmitted disease?
8). String her along with the promise of marriage and then dump her?
9). Commit an act of date rape, acquaintance rape, or rape?
10). Enlist her to become your casual sex partner, booty call or hook-up?
11). Have sex with her and then shun, dump, or dismiss her?
12). Have sex with her and then vanish from her life?
13). Have sex with a prostitute, call girl or otherwise paid a female for sex?
14). Live with her outside of marriage, (i.e., cohabitation, shacking-up)?
15). Tell her that you loved her, but you didn’t love her?
16). Take advantage of her when she was vulnerable emotionally?
17). Threaten her with abuse or violence?
18). Commit an act of abuse or domestic violence against her?
19). Lure, seduce or talk her into a dead-end relationship?
20). Recruit, seduce or trick her to reveal her nakedness to other males?
21). Use derogatory words/phrases toward her, after you exploited her?
22). Talk or trick her into supporting you financially?
23). Marry her and then display immaturity, infidelity, or irresponsibility?
24). Toy with her emotions by making false promises, vows or oaths?
25). Patronize a strip club, bordello or other venue that exploits women?
26). Purchase, use, distribute or view any form of pornography?
27). Esteem yourself as a player, playboy, pimp, lothario, lover, etc.?
28). Neglect your duty as her father?
The Mandate From God�
If you have committed any of the above acts, you have abdicated your duty as a man to be a protector. Even if the woman or women initiated the act or happily consented to it, you are still guilty of renouncing your mandate from God as a man to protect them, (See article: The 8 Steps To Manhood). Concerning this critical issue, Jesus set the tone for all men to conduct themselves.
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem,… how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
A hen gathers her chicks under her wings when she detects a threat or danger. Jesus used that powerful illustration to vividly illustrate how men were called to be protectors. He then scolded those men for neglecting their duty and responsibility. You had to be there to fully comprehend the Lord’s anger toward these men. At the end of the verse, His heated words were, “…ye would not!” In other words, they refused to be protectors. Have you conducted yourself in the same manner as these men? Have you failed or refused to be a protector? Have you kissed the girls and made them cry? You took the damage assessment test, how much damage are you responsible for?
When you look in the mirror of life, do you resemble Mike? Have you stolen a female’s virginity, left her pregnant and alone, or forced her to get an abortion? Have you toyed with a woman’s emotions? Have you demoralized any woman by loving her and then leaving her? Have you participated in degrading and devaluing women by patronizing strip clubs or viewing pornography? The first thing you need to do, if you haven’t already done so, is repent, (See I John 1:9). You not only sinned against her, you sinned against Almighty God, (See Matthew 18:1-10). You need to clear your conscience before God.
The second thing you need to do is make restitution where needed. That means being a father to the children you have fathered. I am not telling you to marry the child�s mother. The two of you together may be like trying to mix water and oil. I am saying if you fathered a child, you need to be their daddy. If their mother is vengeful or bitter and won�t allow it, be advised, you must use wisdom. I have watched these females glory in the fact that they had their baby�s daddy arrested on false charges. Talk to men who understand your dilemma and glean wisdom from their practical and legal insight. You can still pray for your child and support them financially. They need to know that daddy loves them and that you did not abandon them! This is your clarion call to stand up and be a man, (See Job 38:1-3). Not just any man, but a man of God!
The third thing you need to do is learn what manhood is all about! You may be one of the millions of males who were never taught what it takes to be a man. At Mastering Manhood, we�ll show you the ropes. We will impart words of wisdom into your spirit and help get you on track to fulfilling God�s vision for your life. Got questions about manhood? We�ve got the answers!
Wale’s song “Diary” should be the soundtrack to this article.